My In-Laws Are Making My Life Miserable...

Before you fall in love with a guy , you should not only check him out thoroughly but also his parents or specifically his mother or your future MIL.Failure to do this would  bring you untold miseries and make your life on Earth like hell.

Check out their relationships and what kind of relationships the guy has with his mother.  Is he the independent type or is he the filial son to his mother.This will have a very important bearings to your happiness and sanity.

Do not because of love ignore this checking out of your future MIL. Ignore it at your own perils! You may think you are only  marrying his son but it can be a big mistake if you think his mother does not influence his opinions on many things. His actions or in actions will give you plenty of heartaches and headaches.

If you do not want to have any MIL problems , you should seek out his opinions on whether you will be staying together with the MIL or only the two of you after you are married.

The best course after you have married is to move out and stay alone from either parents and live your own life together without any complications from either parents.It is hard enough to understand a man without the complexities of the MIL who would probably give you hell for taking away her son away from her. No matter how good is your in laws, sooner or later , there will be a clash of cultures and opinions .

What if you are already in that situation where you have no choice and your overbearing MIL is lording over your life and treating you like dirt ?

You cannot expect your husband to take your side as he is torn between you and his mother. By right he should be on your side but many a man do not see it this way. Many will think of their mother first and wife second.

If the situation has deteriorated into a no win situation and untenable , you need to stand up to your MIL's abuses and tell her to F.O and leave your husband and family: if the worst comes to the worst.Stand up for your rights to live the way you want or you will be trampled upon.

If you are not going to fight this war,no one will fight it for you . You will forever lose everything and you become like a zombie or be treated worst than a refugee in your own home.

There is no guarantee that you can win this war and not suffer the consequences but this is the only way , if you want to gain back your rights and live your own life with your man.

A trial separation is good because it will enable them to think of what they will miss when you are not there , for they have taken you for granted. However , you must be prepared that things may not go the way you envisioned. Your spineless husband may give you up and if that happens, it is better you seek a divorce and find another man .

If he wants you back , then it will be on your terms and they will have to respect you and your rights. If he does not want you , it is pointless going back to that kind of life.  Start a new life ,get a job and be independent.