Women can have it all, career and family but what about the men ? We seldom hear about how the modern lifestyle have affected the men.Are the men able to cope with the extra workload ? Will they be torn between their careers and the children ?
With women working in greater numbers , who is left in charge of the children? The men are pushed more and more into playing the female gender roles like taking care of the children , house chores and cooking.The gender roles are no more distinct and has blurred.More and more men are now involved in the domestic routine and childcare responsibilities.
If you are a man with a working wife, you will be hard pressed to accommodate both work and family life in your schedule. You are expected to pull your weight in the family unlike your father or grandfather who never did those jobs in the house.You do not have a choice unless you are rich enough to hire maids to do those jobs.
The result is that modern men feel pulled in every direction. The women is able to multi task while the men are bewildered. A woman may spend 24/7 with the children but let the man have the child for 1 hour and he will go bonkers and quickly send a S.O.S to his wife.A man is not made like a woman .
The modern men will have to bring home the bacon while at the same time ensuring they're an intrinsic part of their children's lives.
For a man , career is very important . They are in a dilemma whether to stay at work late to protect their job, or rush home to do their share of childcare as their wife expects?
Before a man marries, he has two choices. To marry a working wife or a full time housewife? He will have to weigh the pro's and con's .
Reference and thanks to :-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1195315/Exhausted-guilt-ridden-torn-career-children-No-YOU-girls-Having-harder-men.html
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It is a very difficult decision for those couples who find themselves in this dilemma.Which is better for your kids, to stay together or to divorce?
Put it in another way. Would you be able to raise your kids who would fare better in life if you stay together or divorce?
Would you find it more conducive to raise your kids in a dysfunctional environment or in a peaceful one ?
Which is more paramount, your own happiness or your children ? Can you be a good parent when you are unhappy always ?
Would you stay in an unhappy and loveless marriage for the sake of your kids ?
If there is no more love in the family , the home is like a war zone and a battle ground between the parents.Parents may fight everyday over every little issues and sometimes violence is unavoidable. If such a condition exists in a home , it would be better to divorce and live separately.
If we seek divorce ,we may fear that the children will grow up without one of the parent's love.
How you handle your divorce and your parenting responsibilities will affect the emotional health of your children.
Some divorce can be amicable while others are acrimonious. If you can have an amicable divorce where you can share equal parental rights , then it would be better to divorce and live separately.
The children will grow up having two homes and will not be seriously affected by the divorce. You will be happier and and be in the proper frame of mind to look after their welfare while they are growing up.
The researchers say that being brought up by a secure single parent is better than being brought up by a couple whose relationship is volatile.
When you stay in a marriage and your mental and psychological state is on tender hooks, you cannot give your very best to your kids.Your perpetual state of anger and your sufferings will tell on your kids.Your trauma will be their trauma.
In such a scenario, I feel it is better to divorce and stay separately.A hurtful and angry parent is not a good parent.She may vent her frustrations unto her children and sometimes she is overcome with stress and depressions and may want to commit suicide together with her children.
If you have tried your very best to mend your marriage and it still does not work out, then leaving is the best option. There is no other recourse if your partner does not want to try to solve the impasse or to seek a compromise solution to the failed marriage.
Reference and thanks to :-
http://marriage.about.com/od/divorce/i/gooddivorceiss.htm
Related topic
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1193758/I-wish-parents-divorced-Do-parents-stay-children-harm-good.html
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Mothers -in- laws (MIL )is the chief causes of divorce. There are good , bad and ugly MIL's but those ugly MIL's are more prevalent in our society.
No matter how good or kind those MIL's are, no two women can live in the same house. A ship cannot have two captains. A man cannot have two women in his heart or home. He will either choose one or the other. If he is married, he would be wise to choose his wife.
If he still favours his mother , he is considered a child husband for he still has those apron strings tied to his mother. A man's viewpoints maybe different from a woman .His continue loyalty to his mother can be a cause of friction with his wife.
A good MIL will not interfere in their marriage but will only give them support and understandings. A bad MIL will want to seek control of them and want them to follow her ways.
The world has changed and the new generations have their own ways of doing things. A wise MIL would allow them to make their own mistakes and learn by themselves.
In the Bible, it says that you should leave your parents when you get married. I believe this is the best solution if you do not want to have MIL's problems. You should not stay under the same roof.You do not want her to influence her son or to control your marriage.You should be allowed to make the decisions that will affect your life. Your MIL's should never interfere and force you to follow her ways.
If you cannot afford to live on your own and need to stay with the MIL , God help you ! You would be sleeping on a bed of nails and walking on eggshells every day.
Reference and thanks to :-
http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20090526-144030.html
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"They say behind every great man there's a woman." Or the feminist would say," Behind every man is a great woman ."
Today, there are many women who are highly qualified and have high earnings. Their advancement in their careers is an embodiment of the modern day successful women.
Being successful ,married and having a demanding career can take a tremendous toll on her physical, psychological and mental state.
She suffers from the stress, tiredness and lack of sleep as she juggles her incessant demands of her career and home. Somewhere and something will have to break.
Her feminist ideals of managing her careers and home will be too high to attain and either one will have to suffer as she is only an ordinary mortal and not some wonder woman.
In the past, she only had to hold up half the world but compared to the present situation , she is holding up the whole world with some or little help from her man.
What profits a woman if she can own the world but loses her life ?
Is she getting the best of both worlds?
Do they derive the satisfactions and fulfillment's from their chosen careers .
Is she using the best of her abilities to enjoy a better quality life .What about their roles as mothers and wives ?
This is the dilemma of many modern ,married and working women. Women have got talents, skills and they are now better educated . With the modernizations , life's becomes more complicated , complex and confusing.
Whether they will use their given abilities to enhance their husbands careers or for themselves or their families will ultimately reward them with a happy and fulfilled life or consigned them to the lonely planet.
If they choose the right choice, they will not only be able to help their man in his career but will also have the freedom and pleasure of spending more time with their children. They will be more in tune with their inner calling as a mother ,wife and helper as God designed them to be.
Life is about balance.They need to seek a work-balance in their life .Having plenty of money or materialistic things do not enrich the quality of life and neither will guarantee you happiness.
Related topic
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1158340/Quit-work-help-husband-says-controversial-new-book-infuriated-feminists.html
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Many homeless and poor who lived on the streets do not have shelter or a place they can call home.
The government shelter is overflowing and there are no more places for those millions of homeless vagabonds roaming the streets.
Those who are lucky and able to pay ,were put into those commercially run care home.
This bizarre case is unfathomable and incomprehensible. The state social services with the police went and took back that old lady and put her back in the care home against the daughter's wishes.
The mother was unhappy at the care home and the daughter took her home to look after herself.
It is not free and the daughter have to pay £2,000-a-month to that care home for her upkeep.
It seems that the state has over ruled the decision of the daughter to take her mother from that care home to look after herself. The daughter will have to go to court to fight against the system.
Don't you think that it is an abuse of the state authorities to force it's citizen against their will? The daughter should be the best person to decide where her mother belongs.It is her responsibility alone and not some little Napoleons who lord over them.
This is certainly not right and proper to prevent the daughter from taking care of her own mother.
The state authorities decided what is best for you and you have no say in that issue whatsoever.
This is really frightening because power lies in the hands of those officials who decides your fate . If they failed to do the job, then you become another statistics.
Over here, the government encourages it's citizen to look after their aged parents themselves instead of sending them to those senior citizen's homes.
Due to the great amount of care and time needed to look after them , most children would send them to those care homes where they are well taken care off.
In the Asian society value, filial piety is a highly honoured tradition.
Our sympathies to her daughter.After she had done so much for her mother, it was still considered not enough.This is regrettable and a disgrace .
Reference and thanks:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1172640/The-moment-social-services-backed-police-battering-ram-snatched-dementia-patient-daughters-house-took-care-home.html
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If you are living in the 50's , you may be forgiven for saying that. Most women at that time were stay at home moms (SAHM) , looking after the babies, the husband and the home.
This was because there were few jobs for women at that time. They were treated like baby making factories and the stereotype female roles they had to play in that kind of society.
SAHM
The decision may looked difficult but it all boils down to whether you think of your children first or yourself first. Being a SAHM may be unrewarding as compared to a supermom but it is fulfilling to see him/her grow up to be a better and more rounded person.
Those that come from a SAHM environment are more equipped in life and have a better understanding than those who grow up with their absent moms.
It can be a big struggle and sacrifice to give up your career for your children but the decision to become a SAHM is all about giving your best to the child.You brought the child into this world and you let others take care of her/him. It is just like the animal kingdom. We are a higher life form .
If we bring children into this world and then give up most of our time and resources to career, then we are no better than rabbits . Rabbits are much better than us for they looked after the young till they can fend for themselves.
Rabbits are cute!
Courtesy;- www.elcivics.com
Would you like her/him to grow up without any close family relationship ? The children will grow up without any close or just superficial bond with the supermom. When you are old, they may return you the favour..It is Karma.
We know that in the Western society , the children will grow up and leave their parents , while in the Eastern society, the children will still have ties to their parents until they leave this world.
But this filial piety is slowly disappearing as the children get caught up with the attritions of life and simply have no time to be filial to their parents anymore. Some countries had to make it a law for the children to take care of their parents.
Many of today's generations abandoned their poor parents and left to the state to take care of them.It was a heavy burden since they required more medical support.
Sometimes, it is not about the financial plights or to downgrade to a lower standard of living , it is about bonding with our children. You can be surprised that you can have a lovely and rich life while you exist in the average middle class family or the poor. It was more fun and the children will enjoy their childhood .
It is not about living in a bigger house, driving a bigger car and more of all those material things. Those material things cloud out our real purpose in life . We should concentrate on the human developments
Each and every women will have to decide which is more important to her. Working together to build up a home or an empire.
Being a SAHM is also a full time job though it is often unappreciated ,underpaid and unglamourous .
Think of your life when you were small. If you grew up with a supermom, you would know what you need to do to give your children the best in life.
Related topic;-
Physiomom SAHM or Supermom? Why not share your thoughts with her?
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/the-working-mum-from-the-daughters-perspective/
Reference and thanks to ;-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1042454/Are-supermums-selfish-Here-mothers-fiercely-opposing-views-mothers-place-home.html
Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
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