It is a very difficult decision for those couples who find themselves in this dilemma.Which is better for your kids, to stay together or to divorce?
Put it in another way. Would you be able to raise your kids who would fare better in life if you stay together or divorce?
Would you find it more conducive to raise your kids in a dysfunctional environment or in a peaceful one ?
Which is more paramount, your own happiness or your children ? Can you be a good parent when you are unhappy always ?
Would you stay in an unhappy and loveless marriage for the sake of your kids ?
If there is no more love in the family , the home is like a war zone and a battle ground between the parents.Parents may fight everyday over every little issues and sometimes violence is unavoidable. If such a condition exists in a home , it would be better to divorce and live separately.
If we seek divorce ,we may fear that the children will grow up without one of the parent's love.
How you handle your divorce and your parenting responsibilities will affect the emotional health of your children.
Some divorce can be amicable while others are acrimonious. If you can have an amicable divorce where you can share equal parental rights , then it would be better to divorce and live separately.
The children will grow up having two homes and will not be seriously affected by the divorce. You will be happier and and be in the proper frame of mind to look after their welfare while they are growing up.
The researchers say that being brought up by a secure single parent is better than being brought up by a couple whose relationship is volatile.
When you stay in a marriage and your mental and psychological state is on tender hooks, you cannot give your very best to your kids.Your perpetual state of anger and your sufferings will tell on your kids.Your trauma will be their trauma.
In such a scenario, I feel it is better to divorce and stay separately.A hurtful and angry parent is not a good parent.She may vent her frustrations unto her children and sometimes she is overcome with stress and depressions and may want to commit suicide together with her children.
If you have tried your very best to mend your marriage and it still does not work out, then leaving is the best option. There is no other recourse if your partner does not want to try to solve the impasse or to seek a compromise solution to the failed marriage.
Reference and thanks to :-
http://marriage.about.com/od/divorce/i/gooddivorceiss.htm
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1193758/I-wish-parents-divorced-Do-parents-stay-children-harm-good.html
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"Buy one ! Free one !
Buy one second hand car , get one,two or three scooters FOC !
Marry a divorcee with children and get an instant family thrown in. The divorcee comes with a baggage and you will have to accept the whole package . You cannot pick and choose what you want.
When love is in the air, nothing else matters. You just want to be together, share and enjoy each other.When there is love, everything can 'kautim.'(No problemo).
The problem only surfaces when the honeymoon period is over and you get a big headache and wonder why you got into this kind of situation.
Initially, you may have some problems with the kids who may not take a liking to you for replacing their father or mother's place in their hearts. It will require some cajoling, threats and bribery to win them over to your sides.
You would also have to deal with their ex's because of the children who come and go between their divorced parents. For the females,there is the fear that he may want to return back to his ex wife.
His ex wife could make his life unbearable by limiting or cutting off access to the kids. It can be a hassle if he has to resort to the courts.
Having an instant family can strain your financial resources to the limit if you are not wealthy enough to support them .If you are not strong financially , you should not get involved with her .
Your love boat will not go far and you will fight daily and the boat will sink midway. The same mistakes you made in the first marriage will come back to haunt you.
A female divorcee may accept any man as a stop gap measure when she is drowning in her sorrows and financial constraints.She does not have much of a choice.She is no more on two salaries and everything has to be downgraded.
Half is better than none.She is like a drowning person clutching at straws. Life can be very tough for her.She may have to give up all those luxuries of life to lead a simpler life.
If she has the ability to support herself and children , it can be quite stressful as a single parent but she will manage it somehow. Being close to their parents can help elevate their hardships.The grandparents can help to take care of her kids while she works.
If you love the divorcee, you will have to love the child too or it will be a thorn in your marriage .There are sometimes cases where the women loves the men but close an eye to the sufferings of her child .Those men abuse their children and sometimes end in death. It is a tragedy when that happens.
This post was written after reading Lisalicious post in her blog .
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Young in body but having the mentality of an adult woman. It is like a 10 years old girl impatiently wishing to have the body of an 18 years old.
They are growing up too fast and may well burnt out when they reach 25.
Whatever has become of these young girls?
These breed of young girls as young as 10 are thinking of boys ,dates, sex ,diets,make ups, manicure and breast implants.
They are no more interested in those normal activities that girls of their age do.
Their well to do parents indulge them and spends large sums of money on their outfits, shoes , handbags ,accessories and beauty treatments .
At this early age, they have develop such a spendthrift attitude and what would happen when they graduate and their incomes cannot sustain their
materialistic lifestyles?
They may have felt that their daughter have special talents and deserves the best and probably wanted them to become top class models .
These girls are maturing at a very fast pace and may have leap frog the childhood phase in their life.
Children should be allowed to be children and allow them to develop at their own pace. If we forced them to become adults too quickly , it may have social and psychological implications in their adult life.
There are other parents who cannot stop the march of these child woman.They may be too involved with their own activities or too busy working and left them to their own devices. Those child woman have a mind of their own .
Most parents do not impose clear boundaries and limits or what constitutes appropriate or inappropriate behaviours. If they are too strict , the child may run away from home.
They are growing up so fast and the world is changing .You cannot impose your generation's views and outdated ideas on them.
There is nothing much the mother can do unless she wants to lock her up in the cellar.
Doing that will only earn their anger and forced them to be rebellious.They need to be in tune with their friends or the new age criteria.
With all those technological advances , the electronic medias are churning out those extremely thin and glamourous images of those stars which is far from the realities of real life .
Those subliminal messages are causing them to have obsessions with their figures.
Today's children are much more aware and more intelligent and can find out about anything and everything from the internet.
Our children are being bombarded and inundated with those unrealistic images and being young , they are not emotionally matured enough to differentiate the realities of life. They would think that is the truth and would try to follow those high standards.
Because of those erroneous images, the children have develop anxieties
about their figures .They become very fashion conscious and want to follow the latest trends.
They think they are fat and not thin enough or not beautiful enough and many suffer from anorexia.
Reference and thanks to :-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1174626/Rise-child-women-The-new-breed-girls-young-dream-manicures-diets-breast-implants.html?fark
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www.vpul.upenn.edu
Being raped against one's will is bad enough and to be pregnant from it is a double whammy.
This is a terrible state to be in and it is soul and gut wrenching to decide whether you want to keep the baby or to have an abortion.
She did not asked for it but she became the young arbiter of life not of her own choosing.
At 16, she could not be matured enough to decide the outcome for herself..
For if she had wanted to keep the baby , she will need a lot of moral , mental and financial support of her parents or the state.
Many of the victims would want to terminate it as the law allows such a process.
Have we really understood or study the repercussions of wanting to dispose of the baby ?
No one can force the girl to keep the baby if she does not want. There are a lot of emotional, mental, moral and psychological factors which may affect her decision. |
One brave girl decided to keep her baby and only her mother agreed with her while the father and the whole world were against it.
They had to fight against all those stereotype bias and prejudices from that society and she had to seek counsellings to overcome her fears ,disgusts and the nightmares.
In this particular case, she was brought up with a very strong will against abortions . The baby lived because of her convictions and she never regretted having her .
The baby is innocent and what a cute baby , bringing joy to the mother and her mother.
Many young girls got pregnant because of the casual sex attitude in this present young generations and the lack of sex education.
They decided that it was not the right time for them to have a family and as a result , many of them went for the abortion.
I do not want to sound judgmental but I personally believed that whatever happens, we should not have an abortion unless the baby has serious birth defects.
Do you agree with her decision? |
Reference and thanks to ;-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1043041/I-raped-left-pregnant-16--I-love-baby.html
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Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.-1 John 4:7
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If you are living in the 50's , you may be forgiven for saying that. Most women at that time were stay at home moms (SAHM) , looking after the babies, the husband and the home.
This was because there were few jobs for women at that time. They were treated like baby making factories and the stereotype female roles they had to play in that kind of society.
SAHM
The decision may looked difficult but it all boils down to whether you think of your children first or yourself first. Being a SAHM may be unrewarding as compared to a supermom but it is fulfilling to see him/her grow up to be a better and more rounded person.
Those that come from a SAHM environment are more equipped in life and have a better understanding than those who grow up with their absent moms.
It can be a big struggle and sacrifice to give up your career for your children but the decision to become a SAHM is all about giving your best to the child.You brought the child into this world and you let others take care of her/him. It is just like the animal kingdom. We are a higher life form .
If we bring children into this world and then give up most of our time and resources to career, then we are no better than rabbits . Rabbits are much better than us for they looked after the young till they can fend for themselves.
Rabbits are cute!
Courtesy;- www.elcivics.com
Would you like her/him to grow up without any close family relationship ? The children will grow up without any close or just superficial bond with the supermom. When you are old, they may return you the favour..It is Karma.
We know that in the Western society , the children will grow up and leave their parents , while in the Eastern society, the children will still have ties to their parents until they leave this world.
But this filial piety is slowly disappearing as the children get caught up with the attritions of life and simply have no time to be filial to their parents anymore. Some countries had to make it a law for the children to take care of their parents.
Many of today's generations abandoned their poor parents and left to the state to take care of them.It was a heavy burden since they required more medical support.
Sometimes, it is not about the financial plights or to downgrade to a lower standard of living , it is about bonding with our children. You can be surprised that you can have a lovely and rich life while you exist in the average middle class family or the poor. It was more fun and the children will enjoy their childhood .
It is not about living in a bigger house, driving a bigger car and more of all those material things. Those material things cloud out our real purpose in life . We should concentrate on the human developments
Each and every women will have to decide which is more important to her. Working together to build up a home or an empire.
Being a SAHM is also a full time job though it is often unappreciated ,underpaid and unglamourous .
Think of your life when you were small. If you grew up with a supermom, you would know what you need to do to give your children the best in life.
Related topic;-
Physiomom SAHM or Supermom? Why not share your thoughts with her?
http://laura1318.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/the-working-mum-from-the-daughters-perspective/
Reference and thanks to ;-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1042454/Are-supermums-selfish-Here-mothers-fiercely-opposing-views-mothers-place-home.html
Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
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